Tag Archives: Health

I’m busy….

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There have been a lot of things going on in my life recently that have really made me stop and evaluate my life. Questions like, What am I doing? Why am I doing it? What really motivates me to do what I do? How do I balance work and calling? I ask myself many times, “How far am I willing to go if I am called out my comfort zone and into something that others might deem crazy?”

   For the longest time, I have been super busy at work and not just work, but church too, as well as this artist expression I call music. Truth be told, I have enjoyed telling people how busy I am. But as I really sit back and think about busyness, what does that actually mean, and what does it communicate to people in my life? There is a difference between being busy and being productive. What is my real motivation in telling people how busy I am?
    Maybe the answer is that I make a habit out of being busy and telling the world how busy I am so I can indulge in self-pity and show people how important I am.
  Wow! That last sentence sounds horrible and reeks of arrogance. ….. But it is a part of me that I cannot keep locked up. This is what I am wrestling with.
 My wife told me something the other day that really challenged and convicted me: “stop the glorification of busy”.
    “Wait, what?!” I said. Then it hit me…..
 How often do I say that I am so busy and it is really a cry for people to look at me and validate my own pride and accomplishments so that people think I am valuable?….
Hhhmmmmmmm…..
I think I need to stop complaining about being busy. It’s one thing to tell people that I am busy and need some help, but its another to say that I am busy in order to seek the validation of others.
   Of course, not all busyness is bad, but I wonder what is our motive to be busy and what is our motive to tell others.
I don’t have the answers to all of this, but I write of these things because I want to think through it, and I don’t want to go through life day after day blinded by what is really inside of me or around me.
   What are my motives behind what I do and say? Do I want to encourage and speak life into those around me, or do I want to validate my own selfish desires and feed my ego?
What do you think about this? I would love to hear your thoughts!!!
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The Anticipation of Arrival.

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Back up two and a half years, and you have my wife and I anxiously awaiting the arrival of our first son Noah.

   So it’s the weekend before my first son’s arrival into this world. My wife is full term and then some at this point. We had just come from the hospital since her midwife said to go to the hospital immediately to get a few tests because she was past her due date at this point.. We were planning on having a “natural childbirth”, which meant no drugs, no epidural and no labor induction.
    While at the hospital, the nurse said, before even receiving the results of the tests, “well, lets get you ready, we will induce you and get this thing going.”
Aaaahhhh, excuse me, NO!
     So the doctor came in and he could tell that we would have no part of this and allowed us to go home for a few more days, but with strict orders to be on bed rest. Which meant, no getting up unless you need to go to the bathroom.            Humph…. well, at least we were giving this boy the time he needed to “get ready” to come into this world. So home we went. My wife did as she was instructed and rested, I did the husbandly duties of fetching what ever she needed. But in the off times, i.e. her naps. I went into the studio and began to work out a song.
    I was so freaking nervous but at the same time extremely excited to meet this little guy. So I prayed, A LOT and played my guitar, equally as much. As I was working out this progression of notes all I could think about was getting to hold this little guy and I was imagining the tears of joy that I would surely have. I also had a massive wave of fear of becoming a father and the responsibility that goes with that for the rest of my life.  I was on edge, and these notes and chords really calmed me down.
    A few more days hours passed and we were off to the hospital to s-l-o-w-l-y welcome this little dude into the world.
    This is the first song that I have written for him, and I hope that it will not be the last either. It is also the first song he ever listened to. He would be fussy and just upset, and I would bring him into the studio and he would nestle in my arms and just take a deep breath in and a deep slow breath out, and listen. Even to this day, every time I play this song for him, he calms right down and listens intently.  It is such a blessing and a huge joy to share this with him.
  This is my Anticipation of Arrival.