Tag Archives: Inspiration

The Anticipation of Arrival.

Back up two and a half years, and you have my wife and I anxiously awaiting the arrival of our first son Noah.

   So it’s the weekend before my first son’s arrival into this world. My wife is full term and then some at this point. We had just come from the hospital since her midwife said to go to the hospital immediately to get a few tests because she was past her due date at this point.. We were planning on having a “natural childbirth”, which meant no drugs, no epidural and no labor induction.
    While at the hospital, the nurse said, before even receiving the results of the tests, “well, lets get you ready, we will induce you and get this thing going.”
Aaaahhhh, excuse me, NO!
     So the doctor came in and he could tell that we would have no part of this and allowed us to go home for a few more days, but with strict orders to be on bed rest. Which meant, no getting up unless you need to go to the bathroom.            Humph…. well, at least we were giving this boy the time he needed to “get ready” to come into this world. So home we went. My wife did as she was instructed and rested, I did the husbandly duties of fetching what ever she needed. But in the off times, i.e. her naps. I went into the studio and began to work out a song.
    I was so freaking nervous but at the same time extremely excited to meet this little guy. So I prayed, A LOT and played my guitar, equally as much. As I was working out this progression of notes all I could think about was getting to hold this little guy and I was imagining the tears of joy that I would surely have. I also had a massive wave of fear of becoming a father and the responsibility that goes with that for the rest of my life.  I was on edge, and these notes and chords really calmed me down.
    A few more days hours passed and we were off to the hospital to s-l-o-w-l-y welcome this little dude into the world.
    This is the first song that I have written for him, and I hope that it will not be the last either. It is also the first song he ever listened to. He would be fussy and just upset, and I would bring him into the studio and he would nestle in my arms and just take a deep breath in and a deep slow breath out, and listen. Even to this day, every time I play this song for him, he calms right down and listens intently.  It is such a blessing and a huge joy to share this with him.
  This is my Anticipation of Arrival.
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My sister Lisa

 
She is one of my older sisters and she passed away a few years ago from cancer. It ravaged her body something fierce in the months before she died. But from what I can remember of all of it, she had some of the strongest faith I have ever seen. She was in pain, and was scared, but her faith was just incredible. Not something that man can conjure up, or learn on their own. The way she handled the whole thing really impressed me. Maybe I didn’t see the whole thing, because I was not with her every hour of the day, but from my perspective, her strength and faith is what I remember.
 
 
 
 
 
 
     Lisa is probably the main reason I got into playing guitar, or music in the first place. I have this picture of her sitting in the grass somewhere in Willmar and she is holding her guitar with her legs crossed. She could play really well! She studied classical guitar, but could fake her way around just about any style. We grew up in Minnesota in a blended family. When I was born, she was already fifteen or sixteen, so I was the runt of the family, and she was already planning her escape! Not to say that our family was bad, but it was the early eighties and she wanted something more than farm life in a rural town. She joined the Army and worked her way up the ranks, ending with Major before her death.
    I had lost other people through the years, but this was the first death that really left a void in my life. She was my sister, she was way too young, she wasn’t supposed to die! This was the first death that would change the course of my life. I awoke to a realization that life is short and relationships are way more important than personal gain. That family, blood or not, is important and I needed to wake up to the fact that there have been some amazing people in my life.  I still have to remind myself of this daily.
    Lisa was a pivotal point in my own spiritual life, not just after her death, but before it too. She had faith that couldn’t be learned by books, it was divinely imparted. It was her gift, and she shared it willingly, lovingly and gracefully. Even up to the last day, she knew, and not arrogantly, that she was going to have peace after all of this. Peace that surpassed all understanding, and that inspired hope within me.
    I still miss her a lot, but when I listen to this song, I can remember her and what she meant to me, and the impact that she left on my life.
 
     Thanks for taking the time to read this!

The News of Another Son

This song title came from the fears, excitement, joys and hopes that come from expecting a second child. In some ways, I am not as freaked out about what is coming, but in other ways, I have no idea what to expect. This particular song was written as I thought about the joy of what is coming.

    I am so stoked that we are having another boy. Truth be told, I was really hoping for a velociraptor, but a boy works too! Hahaha! My wife on the other hand was hoping for a girl, but we knew that we would not be disappointed either way. As we were watching this little guy on the monitor at the Dr’s office, I was just amazed that we could really see this little guy moving around and all of his different parts. Which I have to tell you, one of the first things we saw was his “boyish” features. We both new right away before the technician told us that we were having a boy. Just the fact that we can see this human moving around inside the womb of mommy is pretty incredible. I mean think about it, this lil dude is swimming around right now and we have the ability to watch him do what he does in there. We could see his lungs moving, his blood flow, his heart beat, his hands move and toes wiggle. Just incredible!
    To be a father is kinda scary, but it is the biggest blessing and I can’t imagine life without out my son. Don’t get me wrong, parenting has its challenges, but to watch them grow and figure things out is just amazing. Every day they learn new things, say new things, and do new things. I anticipate that there will be much laughter in our house with the interaction of our first son and his little brother.
    This song is really written from my anticipation of watching this little guy grow up. To see what he will do to test things, how he will learn things, and those really amazing sounds that newborns make, like the shrieks of pterodactyls flying in the sky, or the joyous smiles that have not been tainted from the outside world. I have absolutely no idea what this little guy will be like, but I know that no matter what, I will love him more than I could ever explain. So as I process the reality that we are about to have another child, I can’t help but be overwhelmed with a unexplainable joy for the arrival of this little guy. This is a glimpse into the inspiration of this song.