Tag Archives: crazy

I’m busy….

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There have been a lot of things going on in my life recently that have really made me stop and evaluate my life. Questions like, What am I doing? Why am I doing it? What really motivates me to do what I do? How do I balance work and calling? I ask myself many times, “How far am I willing to go if I am called out my comfort zone and into something that others might deem crazy?”

   For the longest time, I have been super busy at work and not just work, but church too, as well as this artist expression I call music. Truth be told, I have enjoyed telling people how busy I am. But as I really sit back and think about busyness, what does that actually mean, and what does it communicate to people in my life? There is a difference between being busy and being productive. What is my real motivation in telling people how busy I am?
    Maybe the answer is that I make a habit out of being busy and telling the world how busy I am so I can indulge in self-pity and show people how important I am.
  Wow! That last sentence sounds horrible and reeks of arrogance. ….. But it is a part of me that I cannot keep locked up. This is what I am wrestling with.
 My wife told me something the other day that really challenged and convicted me: “stop the glorification of busy”.
    “Wait, what?!” I said. Then it hit me…..
 How often do I say that I am so busy and it is really a cry for people to look at me and validate my own pride and accomplishments so that people think I am valuable?….
Hhhmmmmmmm…..
I think I need to stop complaining about being busy. It’s one thing to tell people that I am busy and need some help, but its another to say that I am busy in order to seek the validation of others.
   Of course, not all busyness is bad, but I wonder what is our motive to be busy and what is our motive to tell others.
I don’t have the answers to all of this, but I write of these things because I want to think through it, and I don’t want to go through life day after day blinded by what is really inside of me or around me.
   What are my motives behind what I do and say? Do I want to encourage and speak life into those around me, or do I want to validate my own selfish desires and feed my ego?
What do you think about this? I would love to hear your thoughts!!!
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The Patter of Little Toes

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I was playing a series of notes in a drop D tuning about a year and a half ago. I really liked the natural progression of the notes and just couldn’t get the melody out of my head.
    I remember playing with my son one day while my wife was out and about. Noah and I were in the living room and he was not quite mobile yet. He was able to roll over but not able to crawl.
     As we were in the living room, he was laying on his back looking up at me with this drooly smile and giggling quite a bit. I was playing this particular song but I didn’t have a title for it yet. I had all the rhythm parts down and an idea of where I wanted the song to go with all the different parts but it was still “under construction”.
    Noah loved to spend time on his back with his feet and hands stretched up in the air. Something he still enjoys doing I might add.  I would take his feet and make them clap like a pair of hands and he would just laugh and seemed to really enjoy the strangeness, craziness, and goofiness of his dad.
    So as I was playing this particular song for him, he had his feet out-stretched upward towards the sky, his toes were wiggling like crazy and he was smiling and shrieking like a  pterodactyl.  So it seemed to fit the moment and it stuck.
    The real inspiration for the song came one day as I just became overwhelmed with emotion as I looked at this little guy sleeping in his crib and thinking about what interactions would be like once he became mobile. I couldn’t help but be reminded of my childhood, and if any of you know me, you know that I have always had two speeds, ON and OFF.  Which Noah has now received from his dad. Hahaha.
    I was really laughing at some of the things that I did in my childhood, like chase my parents around the house with a hose just before we had to go to a wedding. My parents were less that thrilled! I can’t remember if I actually soaked them or not, but imagine my folks enthusiasm while their child tried to ruin their really nice clothes on a hot Minnesota day just before a big wedding. Not the best decision I ever made! My mom reminded me of that story many times growing up and we could laugh about it. So I expect to have many, MANY experiences that we can laugh at down the road.
    But now that he is mobile and running around our house like a wild man, I will enjoy hearing The Patter of Little Toes, but also the screaming helps announce his presence too!
    Thanks for taking the time to read this!